A Woman should be beautiful. A Woman should know how to cook. A Woman should wear decent clothes. A Woman should do household chores and the list continues upto infinity.
And What a Man should do ? A Man should earn good and everything else can be compromised.
I have grown up in an atmosphere where my dad assists my mom in many household chores. Where My brother cooks new dishes everyday and I can't even boil rice properly.Where I was taught what I should do being a "human" and not what I should do being a girl. Where I don't get to hear "ladkiyon ko ye shobha nahi deta". Where I never really 'realized' that people differentiate between a girl and a boy child.
But then, as they say, Humans are social animals. No matter what our personal views are, we are bound to think "Log kya kahenge". And same is happening in the case of my parents.
I have completed my studies and now a days, I'm living at my home preparing for some competitive exams. After every few days, My mom tells me "Ab toh ghr pe hai, thoda bohat rasoi ka kaam sikh le" .Whenever she does some kind of stiching work, She tells me " button lgaana toh sikh le, aage kya kregi". But I refuse everytime because I just don't want to , atleast for now. And Thank God, I'm not forced. She asks again after few days, I refuse again and the circle continues.
It's not that I think these things are not important. One should know how to cook food or how to do something as basic as stitching a button. You can't be dependent on a maid all the time for eating or you can't just rush to a tailor everytime to have your button stitched. But just expecting that learning this all is the "natural" responsibility of only a girl, this is the thing that bothers me and not only bothers me, but it irritates me.
My brother loves cooking, he does it by choice. I hate cooking but still I'm obliged to learn cooking. Many times, my mom tells me , " Hanu (My elder brother) se hi sikh le kuch banana ". Sometimes, I also start feeling ashamed when my brother is there in the kitchen cooking new dishes and I'm there sitting in my room holding my cell phone. But the thing is why that feeling of shame comes in my mind ? He is doing it because he enjoys it . There is nothing to be ashamed of this. But here comes the stereotypes. I feel ashamed because I, being a girl, should be doing that cooking thing and not my brother or should I put it as " Ladki hoke mujhe ni ye sab krna aata or mera bhai ladka hoke bhi ye sab kuch kr rha hai ". And this thought comes in my mind because I'm a social animal too. No matter how good I'm in other things, but if i can't cook, I should be ashamed !! But to be very frank, I personally don't give a damn to "Log kya kahenge" but when It comes to my parents , I do give a damn because at last they'll have to bear the real taunts like "Ladki ko kuch nahi sikhayaa ".
A few decades ago, Women were expected to be just ideal housewives, who could do all the household chores and look after their kids. On the other hand, Men were expected to be able to take care of financial needs of the family. Over the time, Expectations from men more or less have remained the same and everything above that is just taken as an "icing on the cake" but in case of women, a new expectation, rather requirement, has been added that a women should be working too "alongwith" all the stuff already mentioned.
I Can infer two things from this-
1. Society has become liberal enough, to let women work outside their homes.
2. Responsibilities of women have increased and thus burden on men has decreased.
The former is obviously a positive change but what about the latter ? When the society will be liberal enough to treat both men and women equal , in terms of responsibilities they hold. Women already go through a lot naturally and over and above that , these social responsibilities .... Is it fair ? No, it is definitely not.
My brother loves cooking, he does it by choice. I hate cooking but still I'm obliged to learn cooking. Many times, my mom tells me , " Hanu (My elder brother) se hi sikh le kuch banana ". Sometimes, I also start feeling ashamed when my brother is there in the kitchen cooking new dishes and I'm there sitting in my room holding my cell phone. But the thing is why that feeling of shame comes in my mind ? He is doing it because he enjoys it . There is nothing to be ashamed of this. But here comes the stereotypes. I feel ashamed because I, being a girl, should be doing that cooking thing and not my brother or should I put it as " Ladki hoke mujhe ni ye sab krna aata or mera bhai ladka hoke bhi ye sab kuch kr rha hai ". And this thought comes in my mind because I'm a social animal too. No matter how good I'm in other things, but if i can't cook, I should be ashamed !! But to be very frank, I personally don't give a damn to "Log kya kahenge" but when It comes to my parents , I do give a damn because at last they'll have to bear the real taunts like "Ladki ko kuch nahi sikhayaa ".
A few decades ago, Women were expected to be just ideal housewives, who could do all the household chores and look after their kids. On the other hand, Men were expected to be able to take care of financial needs of the family. Over the time, Expectations from men more or less have remained the same and everything above that is just taken as an "icing on the cake" but in case of women, a new expectation, rather requirement, has been added that a women should be working too "alongwith" all the stuff already mentioned.
I Can infer two things from this-
1. Society has become liberal enough, to let women work outside their homes.
2. Responsibilities of women have increased and thus burden on men has decreased.
The former is obviously a positive change but what about the latter ? When the society will be liberal enough to treat both men and women equal , in terms of responsibilities they hold. Women already go through a lot naturally and over and above that , these social responsibilities .... Is it fair ? No, it is definitely not.
Today, women are doing everything a man does, but when men will start doing everything that a woman does without being just a "special case" ? I never saw a man worrying about the career he should choose to maintain a balance between professional and "personal" responsibilities but women are often advised to choose the career which will fit into their "routine" after marriage. Why ? "Bahu saara din bahar rahegi toh Ghar kaun sambhalega ?"
But No, I refuse to tolerate this bias. Ghar sambhalne ki zimmedari ghar me rehne waale har ek insan ki hoti hai , kisi ek insan ki nahi.
Dear Men, If a woman is going out and earning for your home, "easing" your burden, have some "dignity" to ease her burden too. Helping a woman at home is not a matter of embarrassment, it is a matter of PRIDE.
P.S - I'm proud of my father because he doesn't have that male ego in him and he cooperates a lot with my mother in many household works. And Guess what ? It doesn't make him any less of a Man , but just an ideal husband !
But No, I refuse to tolerate this bias. Ghar sambhalne ki zimmedari ghar me rehne waale har ek insan ki hoti hai , kisi ek insan ki nahi.
Dear Men, If a woman is going out and earning for your home, "easing" your burden, have some "dignity" to ease her burden too. Helping a woman at home is not a matter of embarrassment, it is a matter of PRIDE.
P.S - I'm proud of my father because he doesn't have that male ego in him and he cooperates a lot with my mother in many household works. And Guess what ? It doesn't make him any less of a Man , but just an ideal husband !
